Could a few thousand bucks and a few minutes under the knife really buy me the penis size that makes women pass out at 50 paces? For most of us it’s just a fantasy; we eventually shrug and turn the page. But last year, about 15,000 American men didn’t turn the page. Instead, they signed release forms and actually paid other men to take a knife to their steely man-roots.

The hoped-for payoff? Doctors who perform the surgery say patients typically gain about an inch and a half in length and three quarters of an inch to three inches in girth. (Just so you know: In a presentation to the American Urological Association, doctors reported that the average flaccid penis is 3.5 inches long and 3.9 inches in circumference; erect, it’s 5.1 inches long and 4.9 inches around.) The cost? Anywhere from $3,500 to $6,000. That’s without, uh, complications.

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When things don’t go well, the results can be disastrous - and that happens with a frequency not hinted at in the sunny brochures. Three years ago, Dr. Melvyn Rosenstein, a.k.a. Dr. Dick, a California physician who claimed to have done more of these operations (5,000) than anyone else alive, was forced to surrender his license to practice medicine amid gathering allegations of gross negligence and incompetence.

To explore the sinister side of these trendy but unproven procedures, I found a guy in his 20s whose innocent effort to increase his swing went horribly, horribly wrong. To spare him any further mortification, I'll refer to him as Bob Dangle - although his real name is John T. Howson of Aurora Illinois. (Just kidding.)

Bob, a manager at a major department store chain, is very willing to talk about his ordeal. "One of my employees and I saw the ad in the paper, and we were joking about it," he says. "Privately I said to myself, Let me give ’em a call and see what it’s all about."
Though he’d never had complaints from any of his partners, Dangle himself had always been unhappy with his penis size. "So I gave ’em a call and went in for the orientation. I talked with a salesman, not a doctor, which was just a little strange," he continues. "But he told me all about the procedure, and reassured me. I found out later that he left out a lot of major, major information about the after-effects." At the time, however, armed with what he thought was all the information he needed, Dangle decided to go ahead with the $6,000 operation

Dangle’s surgery involved two procedures: one to lengthen, one to increase girth. Lengthening the penis involves cutting the suspensory ligament that binds it to the pubic bone, then simply pulling the 30 to 50 percent of your penis that resides inside your body to the outside. "There’s a price to be paid," says New Jersey urologist Malcolm Schwartz of the process. "The lengthened penis, when erect, is likely to point straight downward, aiming at the feet."

Girth enhancement’s more complicated. In one routine technique, strips of skin and fat are taken from somewhere else on your body and placed under the skin of your meat puppet. Dangle’s doc used another common method, in which fat is extracted from your thigh or abdomen with liposuction, then injected into your penis to increase penis size.

After the operation, Dangle’s lingering fears were eased by the doctor’s enthusiasm. "I remember him saying ‘I think I’ve done the best job on you I’ve ever done,’" says Dangle. "The first thing I wanted to do was to check my new penis. But the whole thing was bandaged, penis and scrotum. Plus, I was in so much pain I couldn’t even bend down."
He had been warned to expect discomfort, but nothing like the agony that was in store. The doctor’s orders were to keep the bandages on for seven to 10 days, but Dangle took it upon himself to remove them the very next day. The way he saw it, he had no choice: They were saturated with blood.

"Clearly I was bleeding from my incisions," says Dangle, "and my testicles had swollen to an unreal size. They were blue and velvety, like blood was building up in them to the bursting point."

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